Spalletti looked like Sarri in the post-match, as if he were a passing pundit

Spalletti looked like Sarri in the post-match, as if he were a passing pundit

PIPPOLOGY. We parted ways with Luciano Spalletti in the furious post-match of Italy-Croatia, when the bald citizen mocked a journalist who had dared to ask him about a pact between him and the team on the change of formation: “I’m 65, you’re 51, you need 14 years of blowjobs to reach my age.” Well. From Onan to Berlin the meaning changes but not the term. Tonight the blowjobs were on the field and they were blue. Not counting Gigione from Castellammare there were 10. And ten blowjobs in 90 minutes is really a lot – 3

TEN OF LORENZO. To stay on topic and always without Donnarumma: the Azzurri seemed like ten Di Lorenzos, already the protagonist of an infinite Azzurri torment Napoli. When the former Eurocaptain slipped alone after the 40th minute, hurting himself a bit, there was the perception of a Fall worthy of the Via Crucis – 3

FESTIVAL SOLITUDES. There is the dark solitude of Spallettone, who now even wants to glue himself to the armchair, sorry, to the national team bench, and there are the blissful solitudes of Remo Freuler and Ruben Vargas who scored without any Italian player nearby – 8 (to the solitudes happy)

THE DISDANGE OF THE ASS. Even the ass, outraged by the blue zombies, refused to help us tonight. It happened when Shar took a sensational self-pile. The draw would have been too much, let’s face it – 7 (to Fate)

TOMO TOMO, DAMN DAMN. Let’s go back to Spalletti, after all he is the undisputed protagonist of this disaster that we can call Korea, Caporetto, Waterloo, you name it. The calm chaos of his post-catastrophe statements (under level, freshness, pace, conditioning) were like those of a passing commentator, an observer who happened to be in Berlin (he seemed like Sarri, a specialist in the genre). To paraphrase Totò from a famous sketch: “And what do I care, I’m not Luciano!” – 3

REFERENDUM. Objectively, for your favorite team, and forced to make a choice, who would you prefer between Embolo and Scamacca? – 2 (to the dilemma)

QUESTIONS. The shock is such that thoughts and flashes are like stray bullets. For the series: but what happened to Gnonto? Without a vote

DOLLARUMMA. Since he has been in Paris, Gigione da Castellammare has been one of the targets of the Italian fans in their entirety. However, we must give him credit for being the only Azzurri player not to end up under the rubble. Even in Berlin – 8

WORSE THAN VENTURA. Spalletti fielded four different formations and four times Italy went behind. A confusion even greater than that of the unfortunate Gian Piero Ventura – 3

THE RIGHT BRINGS BAD LUCK. In the gallery was Ignazio Benito Maria La Russa, the fascist president of the Senate. The defeat in Berlin comes after the defeat of Giorgia Meloni at the Brussels summit to decide the top jobs in the EU. At the European level, it is not a great time for the Brothers and Sisters of Italy – 4