The restaurateur and activist Carlotta Preite talks about her membership of the support network and the birth of Punto Viola in Cosenza
A territorial REFERENCE that in every city offers a safe place to women victims of harassment On the road; an anonymous place, represented by an activity open to the public, to welcome those who fear turning to the immediate recognition of an anti-violence centre; but also a first step to raise awareness of gender inequality and activate daily practices to combat it.
This is the objective and the dream with which, from 4 April 2023, the restaurant in Rende (CS) “Three onions on the comò” has become a Purple Point, that is, one of the spaces that belong to a network present throughout Italy and which you can read more information in the article at the bottom of this page. Carlotta Preite, who is the restaurant’s maitresse (she is keen to give new meaning to the word by bringing it back to the feminine declension of maître), was not a victim of harassment or abuse, she did not develop her own sensitivity in the personal sphere but she first intercepted the clear voice of key women on the topic and then chose to be part of the change with his own personal choices and with the need to involve as many people as possible.
GENDER DISPARITY
Yet, Carlotta also experienced forms of gender inequality, less striking and more subtle ones such as economic violence, every time she was paid less than her male colleagues; and yet another form, such as that experienced as a teenager when she suffered one of the many labels that small towns tend to brand on the skin and psyche of every young woman who is rebellious, exuberant or simply different from the usual and reassuring image of woman.
And she says that more recently «it had already been several years that, even if not formally, I was the owner of my restaurant but I worked there for free because the business was in my partner’s name. When the pandemic crisis arrived I found myself with a handful of flies in my hand and I wondered if one day the story with Andrea ended and what would be left of me. It was a form of “self-induced” economic violence, a lucid sacrifice to support the couple’s choices, but I was a person who worked full time in a business without receiving a salary so as to guarantee the investments necessary for a restaurant that on paper did not it wasn’t even mine.”
Precisely at this point Carlotta becomes aware of having given up, to a project and a dream, the economic independence she has always had and at the same time the need to reformulate the couple’s economic balance. At the same time, the need also emerges in her to want to disseminate as much information as possible on this and other related issues. Friends, family and clients, however, were not enough to broaden the audience to which Preite wanted to bring his experiences and the certainties he had gained regarding gender inequality and violence.
CARLOTTA PREITE’S ACTIVISM AND THE BIRTH OF PUNTO VIOLA IN COSENZA
«Precisely during the pandemic period, by frequenting social media more, I intercepted the DonneXstrada group and it immediately aroused my interest because it offers the opportunity to protect women who are victims of street harassment. – she explains – Even before understanding the project, I was surprised by the fact that the phenomenon is so widespread as to have generated such a large group of interventions on this problem. On their social pages, then, I saw that they suggested creating “Purple Points”, which are commercial establishments and activities open to the public, located throughout the area and able to act as the first safe point in the event of harassment.”
After inquiring about the email, Preite was contacted by the DonneXstrada team who, evaluating the type of activity and the real intention of involvement in the project, chose the “Three onions on the dresser” restaurant as the Purple Point. «About a month later I took a short course in which I was supported by a psychologist and a lawyer who provided me with the initial skills necessary to understand how to act in some cases» explains the restaurateur.
«We, as Punti Viola, cannot be replaced by the police or anti-violence centres, we are only safe places where you can come and ask for help. The steps following this initial request for help vary from case to case, but we were introduced to the steps to follow, such as acquiring the data and calling the appropriate person. We are also instructed on the psychological approach to use which involves, for example, removing secondary victimisation, which is easy to incur if the right sensitivity has not been developed; but also to prevent those who turn to us from having the feeling of not being believed.”
THE PURPLE POINTS NETWORK EXPANDS IN ITALY BUT LITTLE IN CALABRIA
The Purple Points network is constantly expanding in Italy, but in Calabria there are still very few entities that have intercepted this possibility and chosen to take part in it; therefore, «we must try to broaden this network, we must be more. – claims the activist. And again, addressing those who might have fears about approaching this reality, he explains – From an economic point of view there is no type of commitment, the only thing that is required is availability. The training only takes a few hours and we have no task left other than to welcome the victims, listen actively and proceed with the next steps by calling the people responsible for intervening.”
To the uncertainty of those who might feel unfit to help a woman in difficulty, Preite responds with conviction: «I prefer to be not totally capable but to be there. At least I will have offered my presence in that moment of discouragement. We don’t have to become psychologists, nor replace the police or anti-violence centers, we just have to be there and make it known that no one can do anything to you here and that you are safe. And above all we must make it known that we are there; because when even the molester knows that these places exist, each of them will be a deterrent for him, it will be a constant surveillance that will monitor the safety and freedom of women”.
THE COMMITMENT OF THREE ONIONS ON THE CHEST
In her restaurant Carlotta never forgets her focus, from “Three onions on the dresser”, in fact, customers can find the tampon box and also the number of the anti-violence center on the bathroom walls, where anyone can save the information or use the contact right at that moment.
«Even today, many people who enter our restaurant when they are welcomed by me ask to speak to the owner; instead, the right question would be to ask if I am the owner. – And she concludes by looking to the future with confidence and firm intentions – We have powerful walls to break down and we can do it with our words, with our actions and our choices. This is how we will break the habits and behaviors of a still strongly patriarchal society: with small and constant daily gestures that from a drop will become a sea.”
