Almost half the Giro: as at the end of the first quarterit’s time to deliver the report cards to the geniuses and dunces of the Rai Dream Team.
FRANCESCO PANCANI: you say Pancani and you can’t help but think of Bulba, the whole of Auro Bulbarelli, when he was director of RaiSport and enjoyed inventing failures, promotions, alternations without understanding anything about it himself, much less the loyal cycling public. Thank goodness, that season of creative acrobatics is over. Until new Einsteins in the direction, we have returned to logic: after quarantines and mothballs, Pancani is the permanent owner of the live broadcast at the Giro. Surely there is better, surely he is not the god on earth, surely there is always more to learn etc. etc. But while waiting for God on earth, let’s hold on to Panca, in association and competition with Cassani, in the reliable, enjoyable, punctual, assorted Pancassani formula. The vote, for those who have always followed Rai, is like April 25th: Rating 8.
DAVIDE CASSANI: it is the other side of the tandem, seen from its side it becomes Cassapanca. However, he remains the perfect complement to the commentator, applying information, insights and curiosity with the well-known diligence. Great return, the return he wanted, after years of technical commentators requiring total anesthesia. The public is left with only one curiosity: what every three or two in that station have to laugh about. Apparently they seem to be laughing at the things they are talking about, in reality there is a strong suspicion that Mariuccia is the nursery school behind the cameras, they play at tickling each other, at the soldier’s slap, or perhaps at a joke contest, things of the sort. like, do you know what the limit is for a mosquito?, going to Moscow on a Vespa, nice eh, this is good, and do you know what the limit is for Beppe Conti…? However, I have also been voting for Cassani since April 25th: Rating 8.
STEFANO RIZZATO: it is part of the live package narrating the race from the bike. On average good, to be suffocated with a pillow behind Thomas in the Perugia time trial (score 2-), when he continues to describe the English champion as a half-human case, like a drug addict or alcoholic, poor, the wind is very cruel to him today, I feel sorry for him, as if his opponents were hang gliding instead. At the end of the stage, he always goes to interview the winner and pink jersey, practically forming a de facto couple with Pogacar. From the empathy he exudes from the two, it is clear that the Slovenian would prefer to have a wisdom tooth pulled. Objectively: Pogacar may not be as nice as Crozza, but Rizzato is no nicer than a dentist. Rating: 7.
GIADA HAMLET: the Dream Team’s pink quota completes the motorcycle package. A former runner, she could reveal a lot of curious and unpublished details from inside the race. Could be. Instead it is a total failure, completely useless and superfluous. Instead of revealing to us what we don’t see, she tells us what we see much better than she does. Oropa: the whole world sees live Pozzovivo waving at the side of the road for an accident, they give the line to Borgato and she reveals to us “there is Pozzovivo on the sides of the road waving to call the flagship”. But is it okay? Crono Foligno-Perugia: the cameras focus on the runner who is following her, she emphatically announces to us that “we are on the hard stretch” (we see it, Giada), “the public is delirious” (we also see this, Giada), ” we go up between two wings of crowd” (on one side there is the wall, in case there is only one wing, Giada). Overall, useless bike, Giada. Rating: 3.
ALESSANDRO FABRETTI: he would be in Zavoli’s place, because Rai persists in calling “Trial at the stage” even this stuff that doesn’t process anything or anyone. The new formula has the great advantage of no longer having the corny tea club rhetoric of a certain Zia in its boxes, but it has no one else. For the rest, the 2024 Process is dull, tired, lifeless, exhausted, anonymous, boring. And I wonder where all this goodness suddenly comes from. Rating: 1.
ALESSANDRO PETACCHI: zzzzzzz… zzzzzzz… zzzzzzzz…
STEFANO GARZELLI: the effort to be a little more critical and express a few more judgments is evident, compared to a few years ago. But between today’s Garzelli and the courageous, sharp, insightful commentator that he should become, there is still the distance that separates Briatore from the subjunctive. Score: 6–.
BEPPE CONTI: recovered from his sepia archeology, he is proposed again as a journalist-opinionist at “Process” (what remains). The desperate attempt to spice it up, even raising the tone of voice and emphasis, is undeniable (and commendable). It’s a shame that in the end his ambition to be a grandfather to Pogacar betrays him, spending his days advising him to save himself, not to take unnecessary risks, to make friends, not to make himself unpleasant. Soon she will remind him to put on a scarf and hat, not to greet strangers and not to overindulge in snacks. Obviously: the Pogacar that Conti would like is not the champion that he is, but a land registry employee who would make us fall asleep in the queue. After all, it was better when Beppe told us about Binda and Girardengo: at least he can’t ruin those anymore. Rating: 6.
FABIO GENOVESI: classic posture of a writer, every day he inflicts a kind of homily full of good feelings and diabetic adjectives, like the one in Rapolano Terme, in which he goes astray with a bike ride that ended up inside a church, “the moon, the stars, vibrated the music, I was vibrating, the dust I was wearing was vibrating…”. Ultimately, the best way to end a “Process” never started. And goodnight to the musicians. With Petacchi, in chorus: zzzzzzz…. zzzzzz… zzzzz….. Rating: 2.
UMBERTO MARTINI: interviewer and colourist, he does his job with decorum and sobriety. Remembering all the unlikely and runaways we have seen over the years in that role, promotion without ifs or buts. Rating: 7.
ETTORE GIOVANNELLI: he is the seeker of interviews and characters. He knows the job, few flaws. But above all, the memorable interview in Turin prevails, which, boldly delving into bikes and mummies, will remain in the history of Rai for its involuntary humor and tragicomic effects: “Good morning to you, I’m here on the podium. And speaking of the Egyptian Museum, here’s who’s here with me: Evelina Christillin…”. Standing ovation. Rating: 10.
