With the end of school, exams and report cards can become a source of anxiety for many students and also for their families. L’Order of Psychologists of Tuscany from some indications on how to approach the end of the school year.
“It is essential, in this case but not only, that parents stay close to their children, listening to their arguments, tuning in to their emotions, never trivializing the concerns they have, speaking to them with clarity, presence and encouragement. After all, we were all children and adolescents, we just need to let our memories resurface, remember what we felt then, the kids we were to better understand the kids of today” states the president of the Order Maria Antonietta Gulino.“The presence of adults is essential to manage a challenging life phase such as adolescence and a moment of transition such as the end of school”.
It’s good to stimulate the kids but you need to be careful not to go over the limit and place too many expectations on them. “Anxiety and expectations go hand in hand. And if the expectations of parents and teachers exceed the student’s real resources, a vicious circle can be triggered that is counterproductive for his well-being, causing performance anxiety to grow. Each student must be able to do and commit to what he can, trying to improve himself, but facing every step supported by the family and the school so that he can achieve his best result, based on his resources, the family context in which he lives and his staff historical period”.
“We must not forget that each student is a world unto himself” continues the president of the Order. “We must not conform them to our expectations as adults, to our desires for them, rather we must encourage them to be and become the adults they want to become, respecting their attitudes, abilities, desires and supporting their dreams. The closeness and support of parents and teachers reduce the student’s anxiety levels and allow them to move towards a future that is yet to be built, without blocks of fear, and personally signing up to their own life project.”
How to then manage a bad grade or failure? “The vote must not be seen as a pure mathematical equation, but as an opportunity for personal, family, scholastic reflection, an opportunity to get to know each other better” he states Gulino. “A bad grade or a failure must not be experienced only as an alarm or a total failure for the family and the student, but as an opportunity for growth and reflection: it is the result of a journey that begins in September, to understand the motivations we need to rethink how the entire school year was approached. To help parents, students and even teachers at this stage, a school psychologist would be useful, but he is not yet present in all institutions. Great encouragement goes to our students who will take their final exams.”
