Valon and Lara they are the synthesis of love that overcomes distances and imperfections. And if the football of the former Serie A and Premier League midfielder (Valon’s surname is Behrami) was sometimes dusty, often inaccurate and even beyond the rules, Gut Behrami’s skiing (Lara, precisely, his wife who has a double surname) is rigor, victories, medals, the roof of the world. The unlikely understanding has made them better, the privacy has preserved them from the gossip that such prominent couples inevitably end up in. Marriage it is, after an immense turn of their respective lives. “We have known each other forever – admits Valon – then an injury, his, made us meet again”. He, of Kosovar origins, she Swiss: spark, love and a great “pact of balance”.
What do you mean, Valon?
“That we are often far away, I am between Milan, Udine and Lugano; she is busy away for the races. The quality of the time spent together is everything, it goes beyond the distances and also beyond our respective points of view. An example: we are at dinner, at the second glass of wine, she looks at me and throws up her arms, I smile and give up. Or: she is angry because a race didn’t go well, she stays at home with the lights off, she doesn’t want to see anyone. I convince her to go out and she has fun, she breathes and she is fine. There, our integration is this”.
An extra glass of wine didn’t take away your physical condition, how do you maintain it?
«Of course, I’m the first to want to stay in shape. I have no vices, I don’t drink spirits, I don’t smoke and then I do a lot of gym and eat healthily. Paradoxically, when I stopped playing football I began a growth journey that also helped me physically.”
Don’t you miss football?
«But absolutely not. I decided to stop because I wasn’t physically well anymore. I had too many injuries and above all I was tired of the pressure. I went to bed and thought: let’s hope I feel good tomorrow. I was also different in character, I seemed grumpy, cold. I believe that mine was a barrier to vulnerability, so I hid my fragility.”
What fragilities?
«We all have some, it’s difficult to admit it but it’s true. I closed myself off too much, but it was that world that favored this inclination of mine. Not having comparisons with kids your age doesn’t make you grow. You remain a footballer and that’s it, only on top of that. In the locker room you are always with your cell phone in your hands, on social media spying on others and give in to gossip. For goodness sake it happened to me too, but there is never an exchange like: how are you? What are you doing? And then relationships are reduced to a farce. The group is needed in training to then go to play on Sunday, but zero friendships. I have no friends.”
What do you mean by loneliness?
«That you’re a footballer and that’s it: you have money and you don’t even realize that it’s really a lot, you don’t even know how to manage it. You buy important cars, travel on business and convince yourself that happiness is that. Then you understand that it’s not like that: today I teach my 17 and 7 year old daughters the value of money even at the cost of a few no’s. Instinctively I am inclined to satisfy them on everything, but then I reflect and limit them. They must understand what I didn’t understand at 20 years old.”
When she was playing for Naples, a valuable watch was stolen from her, she reported it and testified at the trial against the robbers.
“Yes, there were two of them and one had his face uncovered. I reported it and after a while the police asked me to go and look at some mug shots. I recognized the thief, I said so naturally, because at that moment it seemed like the most normal thing to do. After a while they also stole my car. Those were the last months at Napoli, I decided to leave early.”
Did he earn a lot? How did he spend the money?
«I earned much more than I deserved. I was a normal player, but I got injured many times. They paid my salary without me playing, and thinking about it now, this isn’t very normal. But that’s how it works in football. I spent the money, often without realizing it, but I’m happy to have settled my parents. Football was a pleasure but above all it was the means to make the people I loved happy.”
The happiest moment?
“The one where I told my mother and father: well, you don’t have to be a worker and a cleaner anymore, I have a contract and you will live with my money. I enjoyed when I played for England, at Watford, and I lived in London, having my parents come to me, watching their amazed look at the world, their happy eyes while they asked themselves: but who would have thought that one day we would have this life. No trophy is comparable to this”.
Football and skiing, two very distant worlds.
“Skiing and football have nothing to do with each other. From this point of view, there was a pleasant exchange with my wife: she is all rules and discipline, she learned from me the lightness of something unscheduled, even if it was an unforeseen breakfast. Defeats had a temporary effect on me, I got over them and went back to training and playing the next match normally. She, in fact, locked herself in the house. Now she has understood that every now and then you have to go outside the rules.”
Are there no rules in football?
«Football is a fake world, it’s a bubble. You live in a dimension that is not real life, you know nothing of what happens outside, you don’t know what it means to pay a bill, you know nothing because there is always someone who does it for you. In the long run it weighs on you, and above all there are people who are around you only for your money, who have to find a way to screw you. And it happened to me several times. It also weighs on you to be in a locker room with thirty people. It is physiological that out of thirty you only like ten, and yet you have to be there with everyone. You spend most of your time with people you have nothing in common with. Sometimes you put on a good face, many times you get angry. I even had some serious arguments. Today I wouldn’t do it again, I’ve learned to be more thoughtful.”
Thanks to Lara?
«Lara is very rigid, she has softened a little with me. The comparison with her is fundamental, I’m a bit crazy eh! We don’t see each other often, but our perfect balance lies precisely in this. We talk but if she happens to be busy during the competition we can spend up to two days just exchanging a few messages. You don’t have to always be there but when you need it.”
Who is more jealous?
“We are just right. We are good together maybe because we are different, we have a lot of fun when we manage to see each other, there is a serious exchange between us. I knew her for many years before falling in love with her, then one day he called me to ask for advice on his knee injury and from there we started seeing each other and hanging out in a different way. After 4 months, I married her and it wasn’t madness, rather the conviction of having found the ideal woman for me. I trust the person next to me. I watch her races all the time, at the beginning I was just a fan of hers in front of the TV, now I suffer. I lose control, I get anxious”.
His wife chose the double surname.
“Yes, she wanted it that way and I think it’s a choice that should be respected. She gets angry if they only call her Lara Gut, she considers it a lack towards her and our union.”
No social media, why?
«This is also a choice: I don’t want to be influenced (we all are) by some stupid person who writes comments about me, on a photo of me, so I do without it. It’s not real life and as such it’s dangerous, especially for kids. I don’t even like those who use them and exploit them and then complain about the comments: it’s hypocrisy, just get out of it. My daughters definitely use them, one day they will understand how useless all this is. Now I find myself doing things that my dad did and that I would never have thought of doing: washing the car, cleaning the garden. This is everyday life!
What does he want to do when he grows up?
«I would like to take care of footballers closely, an agency for them, to help them with their work but also to be better as people».
This season he was a commentator for Dazn, so always football.
“No, it’s communication. I did it as a reaction to the fact that I didn’t speak much. I like my experience at Dazn as a commentator for this reason, I can speak, to say. It’s always been difficult for me to do so.”
He gets up in the morning and looks at himself in the mirror, what does he think?
“That I am in constant conflict with myself, I ask myself what I can do to improve and grow. Football has not given me all that.”
