Here they are report cards of the first episode of Temptation Island 2024.
The illusion of engaged couples being tombeur de femmes: I vote See lallero. I wish I had a third of the self-esteem of each of them. It would be enough for me to run for prime minister.
The boyfriends who after half a second already call each other “Fra” or “Fratè”: Bella Bro vote. Theirs is already a very high level of trash, with this detail they become truly unwatchable. I love them, know that.
The soundtrack: vote 949757947934973794. Thank you Maria. Thank you Production. Thank you authors. Thank you editorial staff. Thank you all. It must be said that ‘Bastardo’ by Anna Tatangelo is missing. However, ‘Jenny è pazza’ by Vasco Rossi, accompanying the moment in which Jenny still doesn’t understand that she’s wearing so many horns on her head that a basket of snails would envy, is truly poetry. Thank you. Even if you played all the summer hits in the first few minutes – except ‘Sesso e Samba’ and ‘Storie brevi’, which will evidently be destined for other epic moments -, I feel like I love you. More every year. Now I’m waiting for ‘Bastardo’ though.
Jenny and Tony: I vote for Tony but go catch the rats, go! He is the classic example of a man who deserves a basket of horns. “It’s not necessarily me”: I correct myself, he is the classic example of an inhuman being whose elementary school teacher died. We have found our Mister Scemità of this edition. “Can I wag my tail?” he comments when he sees the temptresses. Confirming that he is not part of the human race. We had already understood it at the first disconnected sentence uttered. In short, he is the trash level to beat. Impossible to beat, I forgot.
Alessia and Lino: vote “I’ll throw it into the sea now”. Ale, I agree with you. But not in this sea: in the Baltic, so maybe a little frost will give him some good ideas. Even in this case, I find myself forced to take up the man who we will always remember as Mister Dumb, or American Boy, or Giuseppe from the last edition: Lino also seems to have “the women’s disease” like him. Here they found each other.
Martina and Raul: “Let’s say hello like this” vote. In the sense that, dear Martina, do you really justify yourself and call love a thing that just because you chose a tempter and not another is free to tell you “You made me look bad, you made a mistake, you disrespected me”? But I wouldn’t miss you, in fact I would catch you. In the forehead. Raul goes crazy as soon as he sees his girlfriend talking to a tempter and even touching his back to put sunscreen on him. I confirm: he should be caught in the forehead.
