The holidays promise rest and often deliver the opposite. The calendar speaks of a break, but the mind remains active: organizing lunches, responding to messages, keeping families and expectations together. In this overload, silence is perceived as a void to be filled, not as a space to be inhabited. It is precisely here, however, that according to the psychologist and coach Richard Romagnoli there is a concrete possibility of cure hidden.
In the book The silence that heals (Edizioni Sonda), Romagnoli proposes a radical but accessible change of perspective: do not seek absolute, unattainable silence, but rather the possible, daily one, made up of small intervals without stimuli. “Silence is not the absence of noise, but presence”he explains in an interview with Vanity Fair. We live immersed in a continuous flow of notifications, information and words. According to Romagnoli, talking about silence today is a necessity, not a trend: “We live in a constant noise that doesn’t go away even at night, and this has a profound impact on our well-being”, he explains. “Silence is a biological necessity: sOnly when the brain stops being constantly stimulated can it truly regenerate itself”.
The problem, he underlines, is that silence is often associated with emptiness, loneliness or boredom: “We fear it because we confuse it with something negative. In reality authentic silence is a fertile spaceAnd. It is the place where we can reconnect with the truest part of ourselves. It doesn’t isolate, on the contrary: it brings us back to the center.” From a scientific point of view, silence has measurable effects: “Activates the parasympathetic system, the one responsible for rest and regeneratione”, explains Romagnoli. Research shows that it promotes the birth of new cells in the hippocampus, improves concentration and creativity and reduces cognitive overload. “If the brain is always in ‘on’, he simply can’t recover any more energy”.
It’s no surprise, then, that many people say they can’t stay silent for even a few minutes. But for Romagnoli this difficulty arises from a misunderstanding: “The point is not to ‘manage’ to stay silent, because otherwise it becomes a performance. Silence is not a mental act, it is a physiological state. We don’t have to do anything, but simply stay.” Romagnoli clarifies that it is not necessary to meditate in a formal way: “Silence can come as we hold a cup of hot herbal tea in our handsunder a blanket, petting the dog on the sofa. Even ten or fifteen minutes a week can make a difference, if we are present and observe how that moment makes us feel.” In those moments, he explains, the body releases oxytocin and a feeling of welcome and security is activated. This is where the “happy habits“, central concept of the book. “For silence to become part of our daily life, we must associate it with a feeling of well-beingand,” he says. “Observing how it makes us feel creates a positive memory. We don’t do it out of duty, but because it makes us feel good.”
Another widespread fear is that, once external noises are turned off, the mind becomes even more chaotic: “It happens because we are not at peace inside”, observes Romagnoli. “Even in the quietest room in the world, an anechoic room, we begin to feel the heartbeat, the breathing, the blood flow. If we are not centered, the mind produces even more thoughts.”
Silence, therefore, does not automatically turn off internal noise, but invites us to listen to it. In this sense Romagnoli speaks of “detox mentale”: “We live beyond our brain’s tolerance limit. It’s like an elevator designed for six people in which fifteen enter: sooner or later it crashes. Digital overload, bad news, Constant fear keeps us in a constant state of alert. Silence allows us to discharge this excess and become clear again.” Relationships also suffer from the inability to stay in silence: “We often fill spaces with useless words, for fear of emptiness or embarrassment”, explains Romagnoli. “And yet silence can be a place of deep intimacyof true connection”. Answering immediately is not always the best choice: “Sometimes silence is a space for listeningto understand what we are really feeling”. To clarify this point, he uses an effective metaphor: “Words are like toothpaste: once they come out of the tube, they don’t come back. When we react on impulse, we often say things we didn’t want to say. Silence, on the other hand, gives us time to find balance and clarity.”
On holidays, when stress and expectations amplify, silence can be integrated without upsetting the routine. “Starting from small moments,” suggests Romagnoli. “The shower, for example, can become a space of awareness: feel the water on your skin, your breath, your body. Or a walk without music, focusing only on the pace”. Silence, he insists, “should not be looked for far away, it is already within the folds of our day”.
Even the very meaning of holiday helps to change perspective: “Holiday comes from ‘vacuum’, empty“, he recalls. “We should stop being afraid of it, because there is space in the void. Space to welcome parts of us that we never listen to.” The book ends with a simple but clear invitation, which Romagnoli also reiterates in the interview: “Silence is not something to be conquered, but to be allowed. If you keep your heart open, you will discover that he is not an enemy, but a source of healing and strength.”
