- “I have now accepted that I am an imperfect mother and that’s okay. Silvia, however, has always loved me”
- “I have come a long way, which I am still going through, to accept the situation”
In a post dedicated to her he wrote: “Thank you for loving me even when I didn’t”. Sonia Bruganelli returns to talk about her first-born daughter’s illness et al Corriere della Serain a long interview, reveals that he has lost his faith. “I dealt with guilt and anger”he confesses.
“Now I have accepted that I am an imperfect mother and that’s fine. Silvia, however, has always loved me. As I wrote, even when I was the one who didn’t love myself, who felt responsible for his limitationwhich the other brothers did not have”, the 50-year-old producer says of the 22-year-old. She cried a lot in the past about the situation: “I have come a long way, which I am still going through, to accept the situation and start enjoying Silvia’s motherhood without pretending to also be a teacher, physiotherapist, speech therapist for her… I never had to make mistakes. For a long time I dealt with guilt and anger”reveals.
“I have always lived Silvia’s illness as an injustice. I discovered that she had a heart condition in the eighth month of pregnancy”, says Paolo Bonolis’ ex-wife. The doctors told her that if they hadn’t operated on her as soon as she was born, she would have died. “Silvia was born on December 23, 2002 and immediately underwent heart surgery. But the damage due to postoperative hypoxia was discovered after a week. I had already understood that something was wrong, but everyone said that I was seeing things that weren’t there.”he further underlines.
At 27 he had a emotional breakdown. It was the presenter, now 63 years old, who took care of everything. “I have the first photo with Silvia when she was three months old: before that she had always been in the neonatal intensive care unit”, says Bruganelli. She did not have the comfort of faith in all this: “I am sorry, I don’t see the plan, and in fact afterwards I moved away from the faith. If there was a lesson, I would have preferred to learn it on my own skin, not that of a defenseless newborn.”
Sonia was not afraid to procreate again: “I wasn’t afraid of anything anymore. But the problems arose when Davide was born, a year and a half later, because in front of such a beautiful, healthy son, for whom I had put the blue ribbon outside the door, I started telling myself that I didn’t deserve it, that I was taking something away from Silvia. That’s when my relationship with her became obsessive, while I could no longer be close to Davide. And that’s where I started working on myself. I only calmed down with the birth of Adelein 2007, when Silvia’s health had stabilized and I could take a breath.”
Sonia looks ahead: “Fixed thinking concerns the future, because he is not yet self-sufficient and will always need someone to help him. But I also think that she will never be alone, because she has four brothers. Whoever will take care of her will have the financial resources to ensure that she doesn’t lack anything, and this is a great fortune in misfortune.”. Silvia does hippotherapy, all of them work for her physical and motor independence and her self-esteem.
Silvia did not suffer from the separation of her parents. Sonia confides: “Paolo and I live in two different apartments in buildings communicating through a terrace and Silvia’s room. She is our trait d’union. Now I’m much closer to her than when we lived in the same apartment, me and her father upstairs and her with her brothers below her.”
Now she can “be better to myself”. And he concludes: “I have learned that you should never judge: the mother-son relationship is different and everyone finds their own way to experience it. I found mine.”
