‘Belve’: like Ilenia Pastorelli no one ever, Marcella Bella doesn’t forget and Simona Ventura doesn’t scratch

Ilenia Pastorelli Ebbasta

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We want the same thing she takes (and no, drugs have nothing to do with it, as she immediately clarified). No, I mean it: you saw her last night at Beasts Ilenia Pastorelli? A tsunami of amatriciana-style sympathy: we almost have to reevaluate forced pride. Brilliant, never uncomfortable, the unforgettable star of They called him Jeeg Robot she took all the limelight and risks becoming the most successful Beast of this season. For starters, she made us laugh. And tasteful. Even Francesca Fagnani rolled over from her stool because of her laughter. In her own words, when asked what the fairest criticism she received was, she replies: “That I’m crazy. I can’t blame him.” The superstitious ritual that you do before the auditions? “I wash my armpits three times.” A defect? “I’m lazy, I would sleep all day, I only get up if they give me a bank transfer”. And also: “I’m a liar, France’! You didn’t understand that I’m talking bullshit?”. Sex? “I’m basic in bed, I’ll be snoring in a moment if you don’t invent something”. Of course, Pastorelli is not the first Belva to win us over with her irony. But this time there’s more: the entire interview is in fact tinged with unfiltered authenticity. Pastorelli was – is – true. She doesn’t act, she doesn’t wink at the camera, she doesn’t say what you want to hear but only what she feels. Despite the gym of GF (he comes from there, see under “other people’s gnawing”), he seems to have learned nothing: he doesn’t know how to cheat. So, to the question “Is he happy?”, he admits: “I have nothing to be happy with, I only have an illusion of happiness”. Her melancholy often permeates her words, tearing her away from the risk of caricature. On love, for example, he explains: “I’ve never told anything because I’ve never had anything to tell”, all his partners “have been more or less like that, like that person who stalked me outside my house claiming that aliens give him they said I was the right person for him. Except, unlike him, my ex-boyfriends didn’t wrap their entire bodies in tinfoil.” Her childhood can only be described as “unhappy”: her father abandoned her when she was still a child and her mother had to work three jobs to support her and her brothers. “But I say it with a smile because I managed to transform shit into chocolate: without that experience there, I would never have become who I am”. And you, from the sofa, smile, feel that you love her and start to think: “Of course this Pastorelli, what a force of nature”, and not because she has declared who knows what. You like it because it’s her, 100% Belva. An interview that recalls the glorious beginnings of the program.

Marcella Bella does not forgive

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After yesterday, the word resentment has the face of Marcella Bella. The investiture is courtesy of Fagnani, who every second reiterates: “Of course she if you remember everything… doesn’t hold a grudge, eh?”. In that “everything” there are the disagreements with Anna Tatangelo (“yeah, yeah… she knew full well that she had stolen my song!”), the expulsion of Lory Del Santo for having spoken in her husband’s ear (“I’m very jealous ”), the skirmishes with Rettore (“but now we’re friends, you know?”) and anything that annoyed the singer. It doesn’t matter how far back in time it happened: she never forgets and, obviously, the Belva Fagnani gets married. Furthermore, the interview is one of the most complete of the season: from the risqué texts (complete with an attempted exegesis on In the air) up to the investigation for tax evasion, everything is there. Fagnani doesn’t give discounts and, in any case, Bella doesn’t ask for them. In fact, ours knows how to defend itself very well, striking left and right. All with a dose of irresistible irony: she makes jokes, raises questions, plays cat and fox with Fagnani. Compared to Pastorelli, however, you have the impression that she is more experienced and also more paracula, as when she claims to have received an apology from her tax office. “But hadn’t the crime simply lapsed?”, says Fagnani. “What then, excuses in what sense? Did they send you a note?”. And again: the moment in which Bella, proud of her status as a gay icon, becomes involved in explaining the acronym LGBTQIA+ is epic. She runs aground already after the L for lesbians, and then makes an epic gaffe: for her the T stands for Transvestites. “Transsexuals”, Fagnani corrects her immediately, “nothing, she has lost the crown: she doesn’t even know the basics”. From the series: the problem with interviews is never the questions, but only the answers. The most beautiful and authentic moment, however, comes at the end when he talks about his brother Gianni, who suffered a stroke: “He was a great artist: it was too bad a punishment to have deprived him of singing and writing”. He credits him for all of his success: “Without Gianni, I wouldn’t have sung.” And to the question: “What would you like to be remembered for?”, she replies: “For the songs my brother wrote”.

Yes (Mona Ventura) can give more

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When you hear “Welcome back to Beasts!”, you always get a little scared: reheated soups can turn out to be a huge rip-off, especially on TV. And here, in the stirred broth, we fall in with the whole spoon. SuperSimo holds its own against Fagnani, of course, but she does it too well: she blocks all shots, stays closed like a tortoise in defense and leaves nothing on the field. All in all, a bit boring. The “werechick” within her (ipsa dixit) never bites: of course, the presenter reveals that she “thinks every day about the child I didn’t have” (she had an abortion when she was young), mentions the loneliness linked to success (“you never know if people are with you for the person who you are or for the character you represent”), he admitted that the abuse of surgery was a “gesture of rebellion against suffering”, but it is all very generic. She never details, she doesn’t clarify and Fagnani, inexplicably, doesn’t strictly mark her. There are just a few nice anecdotes, like the one about her flirtation with Galliani: “It wasn’t true, the make-up artist had got her lover’s name wrong and she got mine wrong. From that moment, however, everyone at Mediaset became kind.” Fagnani smiles, we honestly yawn from the sofa. So, when asked “You say you have seven lives: which was the best?” Ventura replies “The next one”, it makes you think that this also applies to interviews.