«To realize my dreams and get to do what I do today I really had to bend over backwards. Unspeakable sacrifices, which I would not have been able to face without the help of my husband who had to fight against the stereotypes of his community, for which a woman, a mother who entrusts the care of her child to her partner is a wife and a degenerate mother».
Today he talks about those moments as a phase of his life that has now been overcome, but for Bijou Nziriraneoriginally from Bukavu, in the eastern area of Congo, member of the secretariat of CGIL Palermo with responsibility for gender policies and relations with migrant communities, it was an uphill road.
«When we talk about work, especially for foreign women – he continues – we must talk about the family as a whole. There are countless distinctions to make, but pay attention also to the Italian ones themselves. In our case we must consider culture, religion, ways of understanding and dealing with life and family. Once they arrive here, however, if they want to have a permanent contract, they have to go and become carers, take care of the elderly and more. This, however, means living in the homes of these families where they cannot bring their children, often very young, because it is expensive. Yes, you heard correctly, they cost as much as they eat, drink and wash. So they accept, despite themselves, and they only see the family on Thursday afternoons or Sundays».
80% of the women who attend the union’s migrant desk work in the care sector, while a good portion work in agriculture where they suffer abuse and violence which they are unlikely to report for fear of losing that job, even if it is absolutely precarious, exploited and underpaid.
«Then there is a new generation – he adds – who works in catering; waiters in bars, in pastry shops, young people aged between 17 and 25 and all with fixed-term contracts. They accept because they can’t find anything else. They come to the counter crying because they don’t know what to do».
The issue of arranged marriages also raises very profound questions that concern the entire family unit, in most cases forcing the woman to suffer a condition that prevents her from having her own life.
«Observe some mixed couples. If you see that the nationalities are too far apart, then that is an arranged marriage. It happens, for example, in the Asian world, less so among communities originating from sub-Saharan African countries. Among the Bangladeshis, then, not everyone has the opportunity to continue their studies and not always due to economic or cultural problems. Women get married early and, from that moment on, they do not care about anything else except their family».
A recurring theme is also that of recognition, of rights and more
«I’m referring to the kids – he adds Bijou Nzirirane – who feel Italian, but are not recognized as such. This also creates problems for us women who, once we have finished compulsory schooling, but I would say even before, do not have the possibility of leaving our children in structures that take care of them, while perhaps both parents work. It would also mean helping them develop a sense of belonging to an inclusive society which, through socialisation, educates and trains. Thus, and I return to what I said before, if a woman does not have the support of her family, her husband or extended family, she gives up on building her own future for a welfare system that does not exist. We need to think seriously about Ius Soli because the new generations of foreigners, those who speak the local dialect better than the natives, must have the same opportunities as everyone else.».
Education, however, is not just learning to read and write
«It is also showing the way, especially to girls and women, and making them understand that school is important. It’s something that affects the whole family. It is a help that is given to women, I am not saying like me who have been and am lucky, but to all those who would like to raise their children, also giving them the strength and certainty that, especially if a woman, there is a future. it’s for her too».
