May Day is Labor Day. We are republishing some of the interviews which, by telling stories of those who have a job, have lost it or would like to change it, have sparked more debate and comments among readers of the digital community.
Her career in banking was launched and as soon as she joined she jumped ahead. Then her children arrived and then she had to make her choice: stay at home, be a full-time mother and rely on her husband’s income. The story of Francesca Dondi, 35 years old and three children beloved, resembles that of many other women (on Courier we told Chiara’s story four years ago: “You shouldn’t have had another child, if you go back to work we’ll kill you”). This time, perhaps, there is no “bad guy”, but there is a reality to deal with.
Mrs Dondi, let’s reconstruct the first part of your biography, that of a worker.
«I graduated in business economics and finance at Bocconi and joined one of the largest Italian banking groups with the formula of “Graduate program“, that is, a formula designed for some graduates in particular, alongside various internal figures who are already expert”.
What did he do?
«Financial relations between banks, I was involved in a continuous exchange of projects at an international level».
She liked?
«A lot, I dealt with topics that I knew well and felt very personal to me, but I must say that the pace was crazy, I went in at 8.30am and left not before 6.30-7pm».
And he made a career.
«Yes, I had time to receive two promotions and reach the fourth level, which is the maximum possible for an employee, and they pointed out to me that this is not a path that occurs frequently for someone under 30».
However, she says “I made it in time”. Why? What happened after?
“Nothing wrong, on the contrary… It simply happened that, between the ages of 28 and 32, my three children arrived one after the other.”
And has this changed your outlook on work?
«The impact was felt immediately, already with the first one. I asked for part time because I couldn’t count on any help, our families live far from Milan.”
And has anything changed at work?
«It was inevitable: after my maternity leave, which I did in full, when I returned I worked 20 hours a week, 4 a day, my client portfolio was significantly reduced. And careers follow quantity-based assessments. However, it must also be said that after five months I was pregnant again and then the pandemic arrived and we switched to smart working.”
So they never saw her again in the office?
«Smart working was valid for everyone, but it’s true that my third child also arrived. And at that point, in October 2022, at the age of 33, I decided to resign.”
Was there no alternative?
«I repeat, I couldn’t count on family help and in the meantime, in view of the third child, we had to look for a larger house which, considering the costs of Milan, could only be outside the city. So even away from the workplace. At that stage it was still possible to do smart working, but I believe that anyone who has a small child at home knows what it means to take care of him and be able to concentrate on work, let alone with three.”
So from a young career banker you became a full-time housewife?
«Yes, being a mother has become my job. I tell myself that I did well, but I have to say that I really miss the relationship with my colleagues, not so much the work itself but having relationships with other adults.”
No regrets?
«Having a large family was a desire, it was a choice, let’s say that with two children I would have tried to maintain at least part time, but with three I would have had to hire a babysitter practically full time and pass on my half salary directly to her ».
What was the company’s attitude?
«They were also taken aback, they said they wanted to try to help me to reconcile family and work, but there wasn’t much room for it. The theme, after all, exists, in the end it always depends on the choices of us women, we are the ones who have to establish our priorities. There are those who cannot do without working or those who have to give up their children, I was lucky enough to be able to rely on my husband’s salary, but from that moment I lost my financial independence, I put myself totally in his hands . And today everything is fine, but what if tomorrow things change? I believe that a woman should also be able to count on her own autonomy.”
What would be needed, in your opinion, to avoid this short circuit between women’s life and work?
«We need policies that truly support mothers and fathers, I underline fathers too. Leave paid at 30 percent is not enough. And then really flexible hours, not only on paper but also in attitudes: because if you go out at 5pm after a short time you are labeled as the one who works less, if then there is also a part time job or permits according to law 104 then one is even triggered stigma”.
Will he look for a new job when the children are older?
«My father does business consultancy, I think maybe I could progressively work alongside him. But raising three children is also a job, there are certain moments when I think that if they weren’t my children it would be very tiring. And in fact, now more than ever I ask myself why in this country the work of caring, raising children and taking care of the home and family is not considered an activity that deserves to be paid.”
