Rome, 10 May. (Adnkronos) – Having a child today in Italy? An undertaking, a real journey with obstacles, for this reason future parents are increasingly looking for help: this is what emerges from the first Fater Observatory – a 50-50 joint venture between Angelini Industries and Procter & Gamble, in collaboration with the Eumetra research institute – which in fact photographs the challenges and difficulties of those in Italy who have children or would like to have children, despite their low incomes, a high rate of unemployment which mainly affects young people and women. Elements that have a strong impact on the choice to be a parent today.
The research project – reports a note – started by listening to experts with different skills (developmental psychologists, educators, pedagogists, paediatricians, gynecologists, social workers) and then collected the opinions of a sample of over 3,000 expectant parents, with children aged from 0 to 6 years and potential parents. What emerges most clearly is a real cry for help, especially from mothers, in the younger age groups.
The experience of parenthood presents problematic aspects for a large part of parents. Loneliness is one of the most frequently experienced emotional states: mothers are more likely to suffer from it, with 47% declaring they often feel alone, compared to 30% of fathers. To this difficulty is often added a sense of inadequacy in the role of parent, which affects 49% of mothers (vs. 33% of fathers), and a sense of oppression that depends on the comparison with an ideal model of the “perfect parent” who concerns a large part of parents (49% of mothers, 37% of fathers).
Concerns that for approximately 3 out of 5 parents (59%) translate into the need to have someone to lean on. It is therefore not surprising that 1 in 4 parents shows a very high level of what is defined as “parental stress” linked to the parental role and the load of responsibility and commitment that this entails (the measurement was carried out with the “Parental Stress Index, an indicator widely used in the healthcare sector. 25% of the sample interviewed showed a value greater than 52, which denotes a dysfunctional parent-child relationship).
As proof of this – the note details – 76% of parents fear not doing enough for their child and 62% declare that taking care of them requires more time and energy than they can give. Added to this is that a large part of the sample complains about the reduction of their sphere of individual freedom (56% declares “having one or more children gives me time and flexibility in my life”), up to 20% of those interviewed who admit that the The greatest source of stress in your life is your child. In the parent-child relationship, however, the freedom to experiment independently seems to be a priority for women and men (81% mothers and 70% fathers), followed by the desire to always give new stimuli to children (70% mothers and 73% % fathers), with more than 1 in 2 parents (58% mothers and 48% fathers) following expert advice to feel like a better mother or father.
With the arrival of a child, the relationship that the parent has with their work also changes and this is where the survey highlights the greatest differences between mother and father. 39% of women and 32% of men say they are less satisfied with their jobs after becoming parents. Furthermore, 47% of women say they struggle to combine work with caring for their children, while 37% of men say their salary is not enough to meet the family’s new needs.
The Observatory also focuses on mothers who do not work or are on maternity leave (38% of mothers, Istat source) and the research reveals that it is almost always a sudden choice. In fact, before having children, 87% of them had a job and the majority of them (59%) would like to go back to work after becoming a mother if flexible solutions existed (e.g. part-time), which not always, however , are available on the job market. Only 11% say they want to continue dedicating themselves exclusively to their family.
Corporate welfare policies therefore become the deciding factor for many parents. From listening – the note reports – there is still a gap between the expectations of working fathers and mothers and the measures that are actually adopted. Among the priorities, the need to have greater flexibility in working hours emerge (56% of parents), a measure adopted by only 27% of the companies in the sample interviewed, and the possibility of working in smart working (43% parents vs 28% of companies of the interviewed sample who implement it). The greatest gap in expectations occurs when it comes to salary additions: a measure considered necessary by 46% of parents but promoted by only 9% of companies.
It is society as a whole from which parents ask for the greatest amount of help in managing their children, starting with the State and the Municipalities which are currently perceived as the major absentees in supporting families. In fact, these are indicated by the majority of the sample (52%) as the main subjects responsible for providing financial support, while only 5% acknowledge receiving it. Companies still confirm themselves as central to the economic aid they can provide to parents (24%) and work flexibility (23%). Finally, what emerges is the need to be able to count on the support of parenting experts and groups of parents to be able to share experiences and difficulties.
In general – concludes the note – 30% of families think that society should respond to their needs, even if this is experienced by only 3% of families. A similar situation is found for companies (27% parents’ expectations vs 6% parents who are actually satisfied). In total contrast to the trend, grandparents stand out, who turn out to be the real backbone of society since 59% of parents feel sufficiently supported by them, with a wide spectrum of types of help received, from looking after their grandchildren when parents are at work (41%) up to financial help (23%).
