It is very often the one who rules the roost shame: «How did I end up in this situation?», «What can I do to prevent anyone from finding out about this story?». These are the questions that arise in the minds of those who are victims of online sexual extortion. Thoughts that almost always block or delay any attempt to report the incidents to the police. Very often, they hide behind this blackmail criminal groups that they use photos and profiles of winking women as bait. After a brief acquaintance through social media, the dialogue between those who end up in the trap and the executioner becomes hotter and hotter until it reaches the exchange of erotic videos and photos. Material used by attackers to extort as much money as possible from intimidated victims risk that those files will be sent to friends, relatives and work colleagues. The phenomenon is called sextortion.
«PerfettoNegato», the association which since 2019 has been responsible for guaranteeing psychological, legal and technological support to those who are victims of this violence, has already managed since the beginning of the year over 150 requests for help. In these cases, more than 90% are men, with a range of ages between 18 and 70 years old. A drama that can affect anyone. As in the case of Alessandro, the name is fictitious, thirty-year-old employee from Milan, victim of online sexual blackmail.
How did it start?
«The first approach took place on Instagram. She seemed like a nice girl, at least from her profile photos. I didn’t know that she was just bait to attract men.”
Then what happened?
«We started chatting and the conversation became increasingly erotic, with the exchange of intimate photos. Then there was a video call, I thought it was real. And instead it was just a pre-recorded video. And that’s where my nightmare began.”
What was he doing?
«She asked me to masturbate in streaming. I did it. Only later did I discover that she had recorded everything we had done, including my face. So she started threatening me, saying she wanted to spread the material if I didn’t pay a certain amount of money.”
How much?
«Initially a few hundred euros».
Did she pay?
«I paid part of the sum in the hope of buying time, but fortunately I managed to stop all contact before sending any more money. The demands for money were always very high, and the mere thought of paying made me feel even more helpless and at the mercy of the blackmailer.”
How did he feel?
«I was scared and disoriented. I felt guilty, as if I had made a huge mistake that could ruin my life.”
What was the most complicated moment?
«Certainly at the beginning everything was really terrible, I was in a panic. I was afraid of paying and not solving anything, but also of not doing it and suffering even worse consequences.”
Why didn’t he report it immediately?
«I didn’t report out of shame and because I was afraid of the consequences. I just wanted to put an end to that situation. My priority was to stop the blackmail, not seek justice.”
What do you advise those who are victims like you?
«It is essential to seek help, talk to someone and overcome the shame. There is nothing wrong with having had an intimate conversation, the important thing is to be cautious and always make sure of the real identity of the other person online.”
