The electoral celebration in Pescara, the shouts of hurray, I kiss Giorgia, I kneel in front of Giorgia, the optimism of blue cars, blue clothes, escorts with flashing lights, the excitement of power. Then, however, having returned to Rome, returning to Palazzo Chigi, the – enormous – theme of “friendly fire” remains.
Usually, for months, this has been happening.
Giovanbattista Fazzolari throws open the door: «Gio, have you seen that brothel?» (the powerful undersecretary is rough, pragmatic, faithful: he has known her all his life and is among the few who can afford to speak to her like that, and to enter without knocking). Sister Arianna writes a WhatsApp: «Have I read the agencies? What’s now?”. Then, punctually, Patrizia Scurti arrives (secretary and psychologist, shadow and umbrella): «Calm down, Giorgia. We will solve this too.”
Because every day that Heaven sends, a problem, a gaffe, a stupidity lands on the desk of Prime Minister Giorgia Melonia blow of provoked arrogance, unleashed by a crowd of clumsy, perfidious, modest characters, all of them right-handed, all of whom became – thanks to her political success – deputies, undersecretaries, ministers, public leaders, managers. A humanity that is often foolishly obsequious, worried not to disappoint Giorgia and, therefore, a bit Fantozzi-like and a bit corporals of the day: many linked by the comradely friendship of times gone by (to make a career and mess in Rai, for example, it is quite essential to have passed through the Roman catacomb of Colle Oppio, the historic section of the MSI) and others chosen by fate (to Giorgia he happened to be almost a brother-in-law Francesco Lollobrigidawonderful gaffeur), or on holiday (with the minister Santanchèunder investigation, went to the golden beach of Twiga) or for prestigious and pressing reasons of gratitude (Ignazio La Russawith his rank and his experience, helped her to found the Brothers of Italy and so now she has to deal with the controversies that the President of the Senate unleashes when she talks about his passion for the busts of Mussolini, or when he explains that, in the attack in via Rasella, «the partisans killed a musical band of semi-retired people, and not Nazis from the SS» – a sensational historical falsehood, in a bar setting).
A deadly mix-up, in the age of social media. The most concrete danger in the prime minister’s path towards the European elections. But she knows everything. You are familiar with certain psychedelic chronicles, in the sense that some really seem like hallucinations, invented, and instead there are recordings, videos, testimonies. She has too much work: she understood – immediately – that they were not just simple stumbles.
Like that afternoon, in Cutro, after the sinking of the boat. With the corpses of immigrants still floating in the water, the Minister of the Interior Matteo Piantedosi tells journalists: “Desperation cannot justify travel conditions that endanger the lives of children.” Storm. Blender. So the prime minister decides: I’m going down to Calabria. The plan would be to hold a press conference to close a wound and instead she finds herself in a memorable situationist bedlam, with her – it’s all on YouTube – looking around her in amazement. But where did I end up?
It was the beginning.
There are now authentic sagas. The one featuring the protagonist is amazing Gennaro Sangiuliano, the Minister of Culture. One day he comes out saying that Dante was right-wing (then specifies, illustrates: but, whatever). On the evening of the Strega award — «I was a little tired…» — she says on live TV that she will try to read the books: the fact is that she has just voted for them. Become a legend. At just 61 years old. Being already a professor, journalist, director, writer, and talking about having a library with 15 thousand volumes, 15 written by him, but without an atlas. Because, once again, he announces that Times Square is an iconic place in London. Lapsus? Certain. Like when he proclaims: «Enough funding for left-wing films. Rai must produce fiction about Fallaci and Montanelli! Except that one has already been produced on Oriana (in 2015) and RaiPlay is full of content on Indro.
Biting newspaper headlines, and then Crozza, Luca&Paolo, Virginia Raffaele. Try to imagine Meloni’s look. What do you think. And what can’t you say about your minister? Friendly fire: is there anything worse? Yes: the family fire. Lollo, we got to him. To her sister Arianna’s partner. What one afternoon he stops a Frecciarossa. At Meloni they have to repeat it twice. «Exactly, Giò, you understood correctly: he made it stop, and he got out». One of those things that infuriates public opinion. So they are forced to tell us the story that anyone, if they want, can stop a Frecciarossa. The minister: «It’s an attack on Giorgia!». Yes: his. And not even the first. Memorable: «In our country, the poor often eat better than the rich».
Giorgia, desperate, appoints Fazzolari: you manage the communication of Palazzo Chigi, and of the party. Then, an hour before leaving for New York, where she will participate in the UN General Assembly, she receives a phone call: “The president of the African Union Commission is on the line.” Is it a joke. On the other side, two Russian comedians. “Who is the idiot who exposed me to such a fool?”
Numerous observers have a strong doubt: Meloni has arrived at her great appointment with history, the first woman to lead the government, and moreover coming from the right, with a establishment not up to par (euphemism).
Yes, no, maybe, maybe. Certainly, its two most prominent and trusted parliamentarians Andrea Delmastro and Giovanni Donzelliundersecretary of Justice and vice-president of Copasir, end up in a tornado: they are accused of having spread confidential information on alleged links between anarchist circles and organized crime. Delmastro, however, does more: he even enters into the story of New Year’s Eve, in Rosazza, in the local Pro loco. Where from the gun of another Brother of Italy, Emanuele Pozzolo, a shot goes off which injures a person.
Look: it would take ten pages of newspaper to tell you about all the brawls in which the prime minister was involved. On the notes, it says: remember the Giambruno case. That is, Andrea, the father of her daughter Ginevra. But here you just need to go and search for the images of Strip: an off-air show full of terrible suggestive phrases and gestures, with him, promoted on Rete4 by Mediaset just when she wins the elections, acting like a rooster in a studio. She leaves him, with a message on social media: «My relationship with Andrea Giambruno ends here…».
You know everything about the recent Scurati case. Now they are trying to save Paolo Corsini, the director of Insights who had the entire nation delve deeper into that text on April 25th: but she, Giorgia, is still furious. Really: every day, one. Matteo Salvini, every other day. More than an ally, his greatest opponent. In other words: now he hopes to steal a few points of consensus on the right, among the nostalgic groups, by nominating the general Vannacci, Benito fan.
«Gio, forget it: this time it’s going to crash».
