If you are among the last boomersthe generation born between the second half of the 40s and the 70s and today you are between 60 and 74 years old, what would you answer if they asked you: «At what age will you consider yourself old?». A study by researchers from the Universities of Berlin, Luxembourg and Stanford University in the United States directed by Wettstein Markus, just published in Psychology and Aging and conducted for 12 years on over 14 thousand people drawn from the database of the German Center of Gerontology, tells you this.
The study concerns the so-called ageismthat is, theidea of aging linked to the speed with which the individual feels he is aging and that sometimes generates anxiety And depression. These two negative feelings, however, are not observed in those who have one good self-esteem and acquired what modern psychology calls meaning of lifethat is, the ability to give purpose to one’s existence.
How the idea of old age changes
In boomers the iperceived goddess of old age is around 74 years old, but the research findings go further. If the same question is asked to 65-year-olds from previous generations, the answer changes: for example, those who were born in 1911 at that age respond that they will feel old at 71. And if you ask boomers when they’ve reached 74, they say they’ll feel old at 77. On average, the perceived onset of old age increases by approximately one year for every 4/5 of actual aging.
Factors that postpone perceived old age
This trend does not appear to be linear and is slowing down in recent years after having come to a sensational halt during the COVID pandemic when the elderly people’s feeling of being at risk pushed them to a less favorable attitude in the perception of their own ageing, which has declined by 5 times from 2017 to 2020.
But apart from this particular three-year period, the postponement of perceived old age is linked to various factors: first of all lincrease in average life expectancy on the one hand and the general improvement in health on the other have meant that those who were once seen as elderly are no longer considered elderly today. Theincrease in the retirement age and improved psychosocial functioning after achieving it and retiring from the world of work. There is also a gender perception of old age: on average women move it 2 years ahead of men and this difference has been growing over the years since land boomers feel old much later than their mothers did at their age.
The feeling of loneliness
Another factor is the feeling of loneliness: those who are more alone feel older sooner. Sometimes even just a pet helps: according to him Human Animal Bond Research Institute ease the loneliness of 85% of single older Americans with a dog or cat.
Social networks can also be useful but, as a study by California University warns, in the elderly they can exacerbate their fears for the chronic diseases that often accompany them and about which they are unable to critically read the news circulating on the web.
Compassion for yourself
Another important factor in delaying the idea of old age is certainly the perceived social support. Pope Francis also just said it in his meeting with grandparents and grandchildren: the elderly should not be left alone, but made to live in the family, in the community, with everyone’s affection. This in fact improves their feeling of health and well-being which then positively reverberates on the unavoidable chapter of life that is old age.
Another factor to consider is the so-called self-compassion a concept developed in 2003 by Kristin Neff, professor of sociocultural development at the University of Texas. Since its first publication in these twenty years, an important line of research has been born on what can be defined as a psychological revision of the evangelical commandment. love others as yourself. In essence, self-compassion is having the same kindness towards ourselves that we have when we comfort our best friends in difficulty or when we urge them not to be too critical of themselves, freeing them from feelings of guilt for a mistake they think they have made. The elderly person who is kind to himself ages less.
And we must not misunderstand this attitude as a characteristic of tender, good, condescending or even weak people, because it instead concerns firefighters, air or maritime service personnel, volunteers from maritime non-profit organizations or assistance workers such as doctors and nurses.
Anyone who gives support to those in difficulty is motivated by compassion and famous examples were Jesus, Mahatma Gandhi or Nelson Mandela: they were certainly not weak, but, rather, determined to bring their compassionate approach to the world.
So, if you want to age well, be compassionate with yourself.
