April 1st is renewed in many countries around the world the tradition of “April Fools”, more or less ingenious pranks and lies, from the classic sticking a paper fish on the backs of unsuspecting friends and colleagues, to cumbersome pranks on a global scale. The origin of this custom is obscure and controversial, there are many hypotheses on the reason for a day dedicated to pranks and on the reason for the fish as the chosen symbol, but these are legends and stories about which there is no certainty. Beyond the uncertain origins, the custom of playing pranks on this day is very widespreadto the delight of jokers who love to plan pranks and the intolerance of those who don’t like being the butt of jokes and don’t find anything funny about it.
But what are the psychological aspects of this behavior, present not only in humans but also in animals? A joke is a situation created to produce a humorous or comic effect by making good-natured fun of someone. On the other hand, in the dictionary “joke” also means a harmful or negative action that affects you unexpectedly. Already in its meaning, we therefore find both a positive aspect of play and fun and a negative aspect of potential damage to those who are the object of the joke. In all jokes, even the most good-natured ones, he is there however, the manifestation of a certain amount of aggression. The joke is not a game. The game is a free, voluntary act done by mutual agreement, while in the joke we make someone believe something, the person who suffers the joke is unaware of its progress. The prank is made up of different phases: the preparation, the staging of the deception, the victim’s reaction, the enjoyment by the perpetrators, accomplices and any public, and finally the victim’s response.
The harmless joke makes you laugh and entertain, it lightens difficult situations, it can create a sense of complicity and intimacy between people. A day like April Fools’ Day can have a liberating function, be an opportunity for a cheerful day outside the box. Most pranks are good-natured attempts to cause amusement and mirth. The playful joke between equals it can be functional to children’s development, allows you to compare yourself with others, to measure yourself, to test your wits and your limits. But these positive effects are only possible if the joke occurs against a background of affection and friendship and not with the aim of hitting and destroying the other. The ability to put yourself in the other person’s shoes must be present empathize with his emotions, and therefore for example to stop the joke if the victim is upset or uncomfortable.
However, jokes can also be excessive, offensive and humiliating: the boundary between joke and prevarication can be very blurred. Let’s think about how, until recently, what we now recognize as bullying was considered as “innocent pranks between kids”, even though it was behavior that had serious repercussions on the victims. Only recently have what used to be classified as jokes been recognized as forms of violence. Excessive joking can cause insecurity, a sense of exclusion, and a drop in self-esteem. Children must be taught to distinguish harmless jokes from wrong gestures, from unfair and harmful actions; it is necessary to teach it not only to those who make the jokes, but also to those who receive them, so that they can learn to defend themselves from bullying and demand respect. It is necessary to teach that the joke must last a short time, that it must not always target the same person, that all participants must laugh and enjoy the joke, that it must be a shared game in which there is reciprocity, that there are ways and times and appropriate places for jokes and there are rules even in the joke.
You have to know how to joke and not everyone is capable of it, just as it is not possible at all ages to plan or understand pranks. Joking is an important part of human interaction that it is based on social intelligence and requires certain skills: knowing how to anticipate future actions, knowing how to recognize and appreciate the violation of expectations, having the linguistic ability to understand irony and paradox, recognizing the mental state of others to imagine things from their point of view and to understand their real intentions , or having a “theory of mind”. In young children these abilities are not yet developed and appear after the age of 5, even if the sense of humor appears much earlier.
The reaction of the prank victim can be unpredictable. Often those who love playing jokes also enjoy receiving them and expect others to experience them with lightness and joy, but there are people who do not appreciate them, are annoyed by them or experience them with even intense discomfort, with embarrassment, anger and bitterness. Perfectionist people, for example, may take jokes too seriously and fear showing shortcomings and imperfections. Shy people and those with social anxiety can experience being the object of ridicule with discomfort. There is also a specific phobia, called gelotophobia, in which one is afraid of being the object of laughter. People with this disorder experience the smiling and laughing of others as a way to mortify and hurt them, as an aggressive act. They always live on alert, unable to differentiate between good-natured and playful jokes and bad jokes. People with autism spectrum functioning and Asperger’s may also have difficulty understanding humor and understanding jokes.
Reflect on your own way of reacting to jokes it can encourage greater self-awareness, you can ask yourself if you are too trusting or too distrustful, reflect on your weaknesses and naivety, think about how you could have reacted differently. Likewise, reflect on your own way of joking it allows us to ask ourselves whether we risk being excessive, out of place, or hurting the other. The line between a harmless joke and inappropriate behavior can be thin and subjective and you need to have the sensitivity to read the reactions of others and act with empathy and respect.
Dr. Lucia Montesi Psychologist Psychotherapist
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