The last expedition didn’t go as you hoped.
“In Nepal it was an extremely dry winter, but in spring it snowed every day. The risk was too high.” Nives Meroi pauses, then says smiling: “We call ourselves experts in the art of escaping without shame.” Romano Benet adds: “It’s clear that giving up is hard. But with age it’s less and less of a problem. When we were young, expectations were higher.”
Nives and Romano, the most famous couple of mountaineers in the world, the only one to have climbed all 14 8000ers together, have returned home, here in their cabin on the Fusine lakes, on the borders with Slovenia and Austria, where they live together with three donkeys (Bianca, Ailo and Yok). This year they attempted to climb Yalung Peak, 7,590 meters, from the still unclimbed south face.
Not bad for two 62 year olds.
Romano: «The curiosity remained. The curiosity to explore a wall, to open a new route».
Nives: «He is the artist, he has a creative eye. I’m the methodical one, who makes the list of things that are needed. As in the armies of the past, he leaves with his spear, I arrive later with the household goods.”
You have always believed in pure mountaineering: without high altitude porters or oxygen assistance.
A: «In our opinion, the only possible one. If you get to the top with other means, there’s no fun either»
N: «We are dinosaurs, we have created our own Jurassic Park in hidden and unfrequented mountains».
When you see the photos with climbers queuing up Everest what do you think?
A: “I feel sorry for them. It’s an attack, an insult to the mountain.”
N: «Crazy and they even pay a lot to get up there, take off the oxygen mask and take a selfie».
First memory of the mountain?
N: «Mine was a gradual approach: hiking, then via ferratas and rock climbing. The first was perhaps Cima delle Cenge, a short, very direct, beautiful route. I immediately understood that for me it wasn’t a pastime, but a passion. During my adolescence I went through a period of confusion, I started going to the mountains because I had nothing else to do».
A: «At our place, up in the cabin, more than not knowing what to do, it was the only thing we could do. I remember when I was 12, my father took me to Mangart, the mountain in front of the house. The day before he had bought new shoes, he had tied me up and was dragging me. At a certain point there were some beautiful edelweiss flowers on a rock face, he lowered me and I was left hanging. At that moment I fell in love with the mountain and I understood that you have to trust those who hold you».
Your first meeting?
N: «We were 18. We both lived in Tarvisio but we had never met. We studied in Udine, I shared a room with his sister. But I don’t remember the first time, it’s been a long time».
A: «I had heard that he was going to the mountains. He explained to me how to tie knots, I made the ones used to tie hay. He fascinated me».
Love at first sight?
A: «We did the first outings together, but we got together after a year, even though I would have preferred the opposite».
Nives looks at her husband and smiles: «You know I go step by step…». She continues: «I think the first time we got close, to Rio Bianco. When I started working I bought a car, a blue 126, and we went beyond the Julian Alps, to the Dolomites, even to Mont Blanc».
What attracts you to mountaineering?
A: «In everyday life there is always the thought of something to do. When you’re up there you’re completely isolated, and it’s a beautiful thing.”
N: «It’s not that you have nothing to do, on the contrary you have extremely important tasks that are what make you survive. However, you free yourself from superfluous things, you have the feeling of being in control of your life».
When I think of the mountains, I think of a relationship between the individual and nature. How is it for you who are married?
N: «However, we are two solitudes united as a couple. Everyone is alone.”
A: “I agree, in those moments it’s just you. Even if it’s clear that you know your partner is there.”
Is it different being a couple than having someone else roped in?
A: «You definitely pay even more attention. On the contrary, knowing him so well, you know how he moves and where he can go».
During the ascent of Kangchenjunga in 2009, Romano you felt ill. Acute medullary aplasia, the transplant, the treatments, the rehabilitation and the return after two years. Nives was in the running to become the first woman to climb all the eight-thousanders.
She gave it up to be close to your husband. Did she hesitate?
“Never, not even for a moment. It’s nice to set records, but there’s something more important. And it’s right to give meaning to things, even to sacrifices.”
After all, Romano has also made sacrifices. He is a great mountaineer, but somehow he has accepted living in Nives’ shadow.
N: «It’s true, it’s not valued as much as it deserves. And in fact they always consider us as a couple, never as a roped party. There’s always this romance novel flavor that somehow distorts the meaning of what we’ve done. At 8,000 meters there’s nothing romantic, it’s about pure survival. That for me is the value, always arriving together on all the Eight-thousanders, without oxygen or porters».
What is the experience you remember most fondly?
A: «Going back to the mountain where I had been ill. They gave me up for a goner, they told me that if I did as well as I could I would be in the office. I felt enormous satisfaction, not for the summit, for me it was important to go back to doing what I liked.”
N: «For me it was K2, or rather K in two. There were just the two of us there, it was a very strong emotion. I started crying, it never happened again.”
The most difficult moment?
N: «The descent when Romano was sick was terrible. But he also saved me several times. For example, on Lhotse he realized that I had a cerebral edema, he immediately gave me a cortisone injection and I managed to return to base camp».
Litigate in quota?
A: «It happens. But it’s not me, it’s her who’s arguing…».
N: «Classic male response… In reality we could be the subject of a study on the dynamics of couples at different degrees of hypoxia. In the early days we could only argue up to 7000 meters, then we ran out of oxygen. Now, with training and commitment, we can do it even higher. Usually it’s due to triviality».
An example?
N: «On Annapurna, our last 8000er, we didn’t agree on which was the highest peak. To be safe we did both. In the end he was right.”
You don’t like social media.
A: «It’s a choice, even if it limited us. It’s also a demanding job, if you do it you have to keep up with it.”
N: «The beauty of base camp life is also idleness, an experience must be digested, distilled. Instead I see everyone else fiddling with their phones, doing interviews or making phone calls. And I never understand where the line is between people’s curiosity and voyeurism.”
Instead you love to read.
A: «Everything. as far as I’m concerned, mostly adventure and detective stories. Last time we brought a book by Simenon.”
N: «Even the super classics, those tomes that you wouldn’t have the courage to start at home. I recently read Furore, How wonderful. I couldn’t wait to get back down to continue. Sometimes we even did some ignoble things, we divided the book into pieces and left them in the different base camps.”
What is the lesson of the mountain?
N: «Training patience, humility, never getting discouraged, sometimes giving up and starting over. It gave us the tools to face the difficulties of life».
A: «It teaches you that shortcuts lead nowhere. And then after 7.00 meters I feel good, physically and psychologically. You know what it is, there you are higher than the horizon, you see the stars from above».
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