He defined the stage of Sanremo his revenge and, three months after the release of his song, La rage non ti Basta went gold. A ransom for BigMama24 years old, who has had to fight against bullying since she was a child and, since she was 20, with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. Marianna Mammoneas he was born, decided to give voice to his life not only through his songs, but also with a book entitled One Hundred Eyes, published by Rizzoli, which will be available in all bookstores in Italy starting from May 14th .
The memory of the carefree years and the idea of the book
«I wrote the book in one go. There were many pieces of my story that needed to come out”, declared BigMama in an interview with Corriere della Sera. The rapper hopes that her book will be able to reach people, but she invites her parents not to read it: «The truth hurts. And when I grew up, when I faced the disease, I understood how important mine are. They don’t need to see their mistakes in black and white. They already know them. My father Italo knows that he spent all day working. And mother Angelina, after my grandmother died, found herself raising two children and not knowing how to do anything. They are the best parents in the world, but we are all human beings and we make mistakes.”
All his carefree years are tied to his family. «I danced and sang on the table at my aunts’ house. My mind is clouded by the traumas I have suffered, but if I dig into my memory I find beautiful memories – explained the singer – my mother combing my hair, cuddling me, hugging me. My father gives me a kiss, picks me up and says I’m a beautiful little girl. And then my younger brothers, Guido and Manuele: their birth gave me my childhood back. I must have been 7 years old and they had just learned to walk. One day a dog had given birth in front of the house and they, very small, in white diapers, ran to cuddle the puppies.”
Bullying and abuse
BigMama’s fondest memories date back to elementary school. Then, as a teenager, she started being bullied. She remembers that in the ranking of the “prettiest girls in the class” she was in last place, because she was called a “barge”. «Kids defend themselves from a bad life with perfidy. Instead, I don’t justify adults”, she explained, referring to a former professor of hers who tended to mock her. «He never apologized, on the contrary – she said – she wrote me a message as if I were her daughter: Marianna dear, do you remember me? I ignored it. If I told her that she made me feel bad she would reply: “Okay but I was playing”. That teacher doesn’t realize that he has started an avalanche of negative comments and jokes from his classmates.”
Of the years that were not easy for BigMama, during which she suffered abuse from a boy she didn’t know: «For him, and for many like him, women are a commodity. Since then it has happened to me other times that they tried to abuse me, but I managed not to succumb. The last one was three or four years ago, I was drunk and someone put me in his car with the excuse that he was taking me home. He didn’t go through with it but the next day I was bruised. I haven’t drunk since.”
«I am a goddess»
In 2021, the rapper began to see a glimmer of light, so much so that she was encouraged to tattoo “I am a goddess” on her décolleté. «For an advertising campaign my face was printed on giant billboards all over Milan – she explained – in that period I was getting to know Lodovica, my girlfriend, better, I had lost the weight I had put on during chemo. I was proud of myself, very happy, I felt like a goddess. And I got it tattooed.”
Thanks to knowing Lodovica, he understood that he deserved love: «Until four years ago I had had relationships with men, with girls only affairs. Even with Lodo she had started with occasional meetings, but when he made me understand that I could trust her, I thought I deserved the love of a woman.”
Life in Milan and graduation
Her life began to change at the age of 18, before the diagnosis of the malignant blood tumor, when she moved to Milan to study at the Faculty of Urban Planning at the Polytechnic: «I had also tried to enter a German university to study economics, an initiative promoted by a supermarket chain which, after graduation and an internship in the company, gives you a car and mobile phone and you become a manager.” But it didn’t go well: «I received an email: I was third, I had very high potential that would have been wasted by them».
BigMama only needs one exam before her thesis: «I won’t miss the paper with Doctor Marianna Mammone written on it». And then we think about the “big yes” with Lodovica, who she won over with her culinary skills. “Mother says that after graduation I will be able to do what I want – concluded the rapper – as soon as I finish university I will propose to her”.
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